I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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