Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
