can we get nightvision for the apartment?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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