So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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