is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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