So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
