u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize