this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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