bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
