i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
she told me i tasted like america
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
