just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize