I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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