onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
