why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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