oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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