his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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