Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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