I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
