White coat. Heels.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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