I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
