Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
