He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
