Banned from zoo.
Again?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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