He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
