Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
