It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
