we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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