Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
