Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
