If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
