road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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