I'm gonna have a badass scar
my shit smells like andre
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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