I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Randomize
