Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
