so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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