elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
