But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
