There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
