some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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