i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
After tacos, we're chasing women.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
