Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
BRING THE BAGELS
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
