I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
