Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
