when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
