This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
