I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
