Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
