he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
