I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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