He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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