I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
