**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
