look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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