Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize