What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
please come you make the beer taste better
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
