I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
