My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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