The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize