ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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